Splashy Cats Review – A Belly Flop

It’s amazing to live in an age where anyone, anywhere, can design a video game. It doesn’t even matter how lazy and creatively bankrupt you are. You too can design a buggy, ad laden, hot mess like Splashy Cats: Endless ZigZag. What a time to be alive.

Splashy Cats from Artik Games exemplifies everything that is wrong with mobile games today. It mixes what’s trendy (cats) with seen-it-done-before-and-better gameplay (Crossy Road, Flappy Bird). Of course, it wouldn’t be an obnoxious compacted turd in the internet tubes without pointless, ugly collectibles and constant demands fork over cold, hard cash.

All of which could be forgiven if the game were a bit more original, a bit more charming, and a lot less broken.

As the player, you help guide a cat down a waterfall, if the simple “tap to turn” controls feel like being responsive. Drink in the garish colors and enjoy the complete and utter lack of music. Tap futilely at the leaderboard button that does absolutely nothing. Wonder why the hell the damn game keeps asking for your iTunes Store password at the end of every round. (I didn’t trust this game enough to ever enter mine.)

The game can’t even get its waiting system right, After you guide your poor cat into the river bank and it plunges into the water, the game asks you to pay coins or watch an ad to continue. However, all you need to do is click on the “X” on the countdown and you can begin again without paying anything.

Splashy Cats: Endless ZigZag needs a lot more work. Which, it’s admittedly had. The previous version I played had far more ads to the point of being unplayable. They’ve fixed a few bugs here and there, but it’s not there yet. And maybe it’s just me, but I loathe these exercise-in-frustration games and never keep them longer than a few attempts.

Splashy Cats is boring, repetitive, broken, and will make you fling your phone across the room in under five minutes.

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